tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67132752869848565312024-03-12T20:51:56.554-05:00Hanes Familythe life and times of a stay-at-home-dad, working mom, and two girlsWendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-43201542598482147732011-07-11T19:28:00.003-05:002011-07-11T19:32:18.539-05:00X-Girls<span style="font-style: italic;">(the other day, while walking through the grocery store)</span><br /><br />Ainsley: Let's play X-Men. Amelia, you can be Rogue, and I'll be Storm. Mommy, you can be the bad girl. What's her name?<br /><br />Me: Mystique?<br /><br />Ainsley: Yeah, Ms. Peek.<br /><br />Me: OK.<br /><br />Ainsley: Ok, Rogue, you touch Ms. Peek and take her power!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Amelia pokes me in the stomach)</span><br /><br />Me: Oh, no! You've taken my power! I'm weak!<br /><br />Amelia: SAUCE!<br /><br />Heh-heh. Weak Sauce. She never fails to deliver that joke, and it never fails to reduce me to giggles.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-71338166727071422522010-09-22T17:22:00.004-05:002010-09-22T17:34:24.478-05:00Creative Writing for PreschoolersLiterally.<br /><br />Ainsley's preschool class has this great year-long project. Every few weeks, parent volunteers come into the classroom first thing in the morning, and the kids dictate stories to the parents. They are given complete control over their stories - they can tell a story about anything.<br /><br />The parents write the stories, then other volunteers type them up. At the end of the year, Ainsley will come home with an entire binder of her creative writing. According to her teacher, the first few will be short, but as the year progresses, the kids will tell longer and more involved stories.<br /><br />What follows is Ainsley's first entry:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">My story is about loving my sister. Her name is Amelia, and I like to hug and kiss her. She wears a pink tank top. She is really cute. She also plays with me. We play tag together. Amelia always wins. And sometimes I win, and sometimes she wins.</span><br /><br />So yeah. That's awesome.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-71145389199675131762010-06-08T13:12:00.002-05:002010-06-08T13:17:09.676-05:00TitmanistanReason number 3,458,972 why my husband is awesome:<br /><br />Me: Whirly Word is dumb. No way "titmen" is a word...<br /><br />Jason: Sure it is. The 'Titmen' were a group of fierce warriors who took on Alexander the Great on their home soil of Titmanistan. They were so named for their homeland, and their predilection for boobs. Two things Titmen care about: country and boobs. Hence the reason they fought Alexander so fiercly, halting the expansion of his empire. Being an ardent homosexual, he was bound to oppose a great tyranny on their boob-loving ways. All hail the Titmen! True StoryWendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-34969787252138155732010-02-28T13:01:00.002-06:002010-02-28T13:04:39.154-06:00Big StarAmelia: Daddy, what are you doing?<br /><br />Daddy: Just sitting on the couch, being awesome.<br /><br />Amelia: Can I be awesome with you?<br /><br />You are already there, big girl.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-87673638619963810682009-12-11T17:15:00.000-06:002009-12-11T17:15:00.610-06:00That's AmoreAfter a nice Friday family lunch at Wendy's...<br /><br />Daddy: Do you girls want that leftover lasagna for dinner tonight?<br /><br />Ainsley: Yeah!<br /><br />Amelia: Yeah!<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(Ainsley suddenly gets up and runs across the restaurant)</span><br /><br />Daddy: Ainsley! What are you doing?<br /><br />Ainsley: <span style="font-style:italic;">(in her most DUH! exasperated voice)</span> Daaaaa-deeeee. I'm doing the basangne dance!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-14608398863672577662009-10-07T08:38:00.003-05:002009-10-07T09:01:01.114-05:00Monster MashThe best thing about October?<br /><br />Amelia in her orange Halloween shirt walking around the house declaring:<br /><br />"Boo shit! Boo shit!"Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-85121530334151867832009-09-27T22:42:00.006-05:002009-09-27T23:07:03.853-05:00HairForgive me, Cosmo, for I have sinned. It has been 21 months since my last haircut.<br /><br />I've come to the realization that I have had the same two haircuts for 29 years. The last time I had anything different done was when we were leaving Hawaii. I was four.<br /><br />The surprisingly consistent cycle has been let hair grow out until I can't stand it anymore, chop it all off into a shoulder or chin-length bob, and let it grow out again.<br /><br />The only thing good that can be said about this everlasting system of mine is that there are probably quite a few cancer kids* running around with wigs of my hair. It takes a while for me to get to the I'm-going-to-chop-it-all-off stage, and I usually have a lengthy pony tail to send in to Locks of Love.<br /><br />As a birthday gift last week, my mom and sisters got me a gift card to a local salon. I had decided that at age 33, it was probably time for me to get a "grown up" haircut.<br /><br />So away to the salon I went. I was shampooed, options were discussed, and snip snip snip - 40 minutes later I'd been introduced to something called "layers" and hair that has a "shape." Who knew?<br /><br />I was given something called the "Victoria's Secret Haircut." I don't know hair well, but let's just say that I got to keep some of the length, and I now look super polished. And while I love it, it hasn't made me want to walk a runway in my underwear and heels, and I don't look anything like Heidi Klum. So, you know, bummed about <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span>.<br /><br />We had a lengthy discussion about color at the salon. I've been on that verge of plucking vs. dyeing the grey lately. I've just a few stray greys** here and there - nothing that tweezers can't handle. But, I'm on that line. So I think I'll be going back in a few weeks to get the color done.<br /><br />I'm afraid I've unleashed a hair monster...<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">*On a side note, is it gauche to call them cancer kids? Something I've picked up from Jason that he says to be funny. Although, when he says it, he's always referring to Caillou - that whiny bald Canadian kid on PBS.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">**And really, why is it that grey hair looks so great on men? Jason has the most awesome salt-and-pepper thing going on. Totally hot, but not a look many women can pull off. Add that to the list of why its easier to be a man.</span>Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-4195958242853105112009-09-14T15:24:00.004-05:002009-09-14T15:29:18.386-05:00Father FigureA stay-at-home Dad to daughters has some <span style="font-style:italic;">unique </span>challenges, to say the least. Hitting the public restroom while out and about (without Mommy) is one that hit us late last week.<br /><br />Ainsley: Daddy! You have a hose coming out of your bottom!<br /><br />Daddy: Uh...<br /><br />A: Its just like a hose!<br /><br />This, of course, prompted a long discussion with Ainsley on Saturday about the difference between girls and boys. Or, specifically, Girl Bottoms and Boy Bottoms. With the caveat that we could talk about these things all she wants at home, but she probably shouldn't bring it up at school...Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-67223748356857268822009-08-17T15:22:00.003-05:002009-08-17T15:27:50.209-05:00Young FolksDay 1 of Preschool went off without a hitch. Unless you count Amelia declaring herself sleepy before we managed to leave the house this morning a hitch.<br /><br />We get to school, and Ainsley finds the hook labeled with her name. Because she can read her own name.<br /><br />She greats Ms. Colson, and runs off into her class, leave Mommy, Daddy, and Amelia standing by the door.<br /><br />Mommy: OK, Ainsley, its time for us to go. Are you alright?<br /><br />Ainsley: Ok. Bye Mommy! <span style="font-style:italic;">(waves manically)</span><br /><br />M: Can I get a kiss goodbye?<br /><br />A: Oh. Sure. Bye Mommy!<br /><br />She drew a picture, read stories, argued with some other kid over a plastic toy chocolate cake, and was sitting in Ms. Colson's lap on the front steps of the school at car pool time. I'd say that today was a success. <br /><br />One day of school down, 18 more years to go!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-29280667366921371862009-08-06T13:41:00.003-05:002009-08-06T14:11:06.496-05:00Walk This WayAmelia has taken her sweet time when it comes to walking. The girl can talk circles around most babies her age, but the walking thing? She's just not interested.<br /><br />About four months ago, her pediatrician recommended that we take her to some physical therapy to get her "caught up." Once there, the therapist noticed that one leg is a bit longer than the other. This caused her to walk with her feet pointed outward, one more than the other, compensating for the difference in length.<br /><br />Two weeks ago, the therapist declared her "caught up." While she was walking well with good balance, she has stubbornly refused to take much more than a step or two on her own.<br /><br />This past weekend, after spending some time with her cousin Lucas (a month younger than Amelia, and practically running circles around her), it seemed that some peer pressure was just what the doctor ordered. The minute we put her in her stroller at the zoo she was insisting, "Out. Walk." Still holding tightly to one finger, but she was walking everywhere.<br /><br />And last night we had the breakthrough for which we've been waiting patiently. Amelia and I stood face to face in the sunroom (our only carpeted room). Waiting until she was balanced well on her own, I pulled my finger away and started walking backwards across the room. Darned if she didn't toddle her little legs right after me. We must have crossed the room 30 times last night. Ainsley decided she wanted to get in on the act, so she took a spot about 10 feet in front of Amelia, and held out her arms. Amelia high-stepped it over to "Ain-see," her arms held wide, calling out her name. She would reach her sister, launch herself around Ainsley's middle, and they would both hit the ground giggling.<br /><br />Later, we were standing by the bookshelf. She spots the TV remote across the room on the couch. "Ma-mote! Ma-mote!" I looked down at her, "You can go get it, honey. You don't need me to walk you there." Amelia then gets the biggest grin on her face, walks across the room, picks up the remote, and walks it back to me. "Caught up," indeed.<br /><br />Bring on the potty!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-46126646096196670942009-08-03T13:26:00.002-05:002009-08-03T13:39:00.683-05:00Take a Letter MariaOn our way home from Illinois, we spent much time explaining to Ainsley all the states we needed to drive through, where we were, what came next, etc. Keeping her occupied while we drove "through the whole state of Arkansas" got to be a challenge. Until we hit Jonesboro...<br /><br />Ainsley: Why are you laughing?<br /><br />Daddy: The sign used to say "Arkansas State University." Someone took the A and the R, and now it says "Kansas State University."<br /><br />A: Why did they take the A and the R?<br /><br />D: Someone thought it was funny. They were having a joke.<br /><br />A: Oh, Daddy. <em>(laughing)</em> That is a funny joke!<br /><br />...<br /><em>(we drive past a Dollar Store)</em><br /><br />A: Mommy! I found the A and the R!<br /><br />M: That's great, honey! They can fix the sign!<br /><br />A: Yeah! What letter comes next?<br /><br />M: Well, a K. Let's look for a K!<br /><br /><em>We then proceed to keep her occupied for a good hour in the car, hunting for all the letters to spell Arkansas. We get to the second S, and celebrate being done.</em><br /><br />A: Mommy, now we can get to Louisiana! We made it all the way through Arkansas!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-91785160633763880442009-08-03T13:24:00.003-05:002009-08-03T13:26:14.997-05:00(Illinois) Wants MeOn the way back to Louisiana after a trip to Illinois:<br /><br />Mommy: Ainz - we made it to Louisiana!<br /><br />Ainsley: Mommy, I don't want to live in Louisiana. I want to live in Illinois.<br /><br />M: Really? Why do you want to live in Illinois?<br /><br />A: Illinois is the best place for me.<br /><br />Amelia: No-nois!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-68515865368727406322009-07-22T13:31:00.001-05:002009-07-22T13:35:33.258-05:00HungryAmelia: Mommy Home.<br /><br />Mommy: That's right, sweetie! Mommy is home from work!<br /><br />Amelia: Pizza Buffet.<br /><br />Not sure if I should be impressed with all her bad-ass two word phrases, or embarassed by the fact that my 16-month-old knows the phrase "pizza buffet."Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-18136112027316769142009-03-31T22:16:00.004-05:002009-03-31T22:21:12.262-05:00Otto TislingAinsley: <em>(picking up a bra from the laundry)</em> This is a bra.<br /><br />Mommy: That's right, honey.<br /><br />A: I want to wear a bra.<br /><br />M: You're too young to wear a bra.<br /><br />A: I need to be older to wear a bra.<br /><br />M: That's right.<br /><br />A: I need to wear a birthday hat, and <em>then </em>I can wear a bra.<br /><br /><em>[and if you get the musical reference in the title, you are my HERO]</em>Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-19649442929774170032009-03-30T08:32:00.004-05:002009-03-30T08:37:49.817-05:00RoundaboutWe have affectionately labeled Ainsley's current phase the "Duck Season-Rabbit Season" phase. Basically, she'll argue about anything, just to argue. In fact, she started the weekend with the statement, "But I don't want to have fun this weekend, Mom!"<br /><br />After leaving a nice lunch on Sunday, we had the following discussion:<br /><br />Ainsley: I want to stop at Sonic.<br /><br />Mommy: No, we just had lunch, we are not stopping at Sonic.<br /><br />A: Yes! I want to stop at Sonic!<br /><br />M: No!<br /><br />A: Yes!<br /><br />M:<span style="font-style:italic;"> (under my breath)</span> Duck Season!<br /><br />A: ...<br /><br />A: I want it to be Rabbit Season!<br /><br />She then collapses into a fit of giggles. She is such a jerk.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-90718250695691804262009-03-17T08:01:00.001-05:002009-03-17T08:02:50.265-05:00TenderoniMommy: Let's stop and get some pizza on the way home!<br /><br />Ainsley: Yeah! Mommy, I want some <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnyxgE3vmao">Tenderoni</A> Pizza.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-60043521727803123132009-02-19T08:08:00.001-06:002009-02-19T08:09:59.833-06:00Wild OneDinner conversation from the other night...<br /><br />Daddy: ...and Amelia didn't wake up until almost noon.<br /><br />Ainsley: I'm almost nude!<br /><br />D: ...<br /><br />A: I only have my shirt on! I'm almost nude!<br /><br />D: That's absolutely right, sweetie.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-25233680593769745662009-02-12T13:49:00.003-06:002009-02-12T13:53:05.193-06:00Beans, Beans, The Musical FruitJason was sick with a stomach bug over the weekend, and pretty miserable on Saturday. The girls and I spent the day out of the house, to let him get some much-needed sleep.<br /><br />That night, at bed time, Ainsley decided Daddy needed a hug and kiss goodnight. She scrambled up onto the bed, and launched herself at him.<br /><br />Daddy: That's a big hug!<br /><br />Ainsley: <I>*pppffffffffftttttttt*</I><br /><br />Ainsley: And that's a big gas! I don't need a new diaper. I don't need new panties, Mommy. That was just gas!<br /><br />So much her Daddy's girl.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-83020513455210780212009-01-12T21:55:00.002-06:002009-01-12T21:59:20.032-06:00Take Me Out to the BallgameToday's outing was to Storytime at the Benton Library. The librarian, Ms. Connie, read a story about winter time, that featured drawings of cardinals.<br /><br />Ms. Connie: Isn't that a beautiful cardinal? What do you think those birds do in the winter time? <em>[Ms. Connie seems to forget she's got a room full of toddlers, not familiar with "migration"]</em><br /><br />Ainsley: They're getting ready to play baseball!<br /><br />And at that point today, there was no prouder father on the planet.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-16678774068607715532009-01-08T08:44:00.002-06:002009-01-08T08:45:22.597-06:00She's My ManAinsley: Mommy, you're wearing princess pants.<br /><br />Mommy: That is a skirt, honey.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-47719958968123294552009-01-07T16:09:00.003-06:002009-01-07T16:17:25.774-06:00The Girl Gets AroundDecember 23, 2008: Amelia crawled up on her knees for the first time.<br /><br />She's been scooting like crazy, doing her "rugby crawl" for weeks now, chasing after the cats and her big sister. She would get up on her hands and knees and rock. And finally, after what seemed like an eternity of preparation, she took off while her sweet cousin Lucas watched. He was totally jealous.<br /><br />And she's been going like crazy ever since. She is sneaky quick, and will disappear from sight in a matter of seconds.<br /><br />When she is very excited, and crawling fast towards something she really wants, her tongue hangs out like Michael Jordan.<br /><br />Now, when someone leaves the room, instead of crying and complaining about it, she just follows then.<br /><br />She's also using Mama and Dada discriminately, and I swear she is using the word "books" correctly as well. The minute you bring a book near her, she bounces, squeals, flails her arms, and starts babbling "books, books, books, books."<br /><br />Starting to seem like we have two freaky geniuses on our hands.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-10366064276377070412009-01-07T16:00:00.003-06:002009-01-07T16:08:31.390-06:00Domo Arigato, Ms. RobotoMommy: And there's your mole! Mole! Mole! Mole! <span style="font-style:italic;">[pointing to the spot a inch below her belly button]</span> <br /><br />Ainsley: Yeah, that is my mole! <span style="font-style:italic;">[pointing to the same spot]</span><br /><br />M: And that's your belly button! <span style="font-style:italic;">[pointing to her belly button]</span><br /><br />A: My belly button? <span style="font-style:italic;">[presses finger into belly button, and waits expectantly]</span><br /><br />A: Mommy! I think my belly button is broken.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-68431695070449291842008-12-17T14:22:00.002-06:002008-12-17T14:26:13.326-06:00Brick HouseJason was getting dressed this morning, when he had to stop mid-way for a potty break. He got to Ainsley shirtless, and put her on the potty. The conversation that ensued:<br /><br />Ainsley: Daddy, you don't have boobs.<br /><br />Daddy: That's right. I don't have boobs.<br /><br />A: Mommy has the boobs.<br /><br />D: Mmm hmm.<br /><br />A: Mommy took the boobs to work.<br /><br />D: Yes. Mommy took the boobs to work.<br /><br />A: And Mommy will bring the boobs home tonight.<br /><br />D: That's right. Mommy will bring the boobs home tonight.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-31098902519800222282008-12-16T14:43:00.002-06:002008-12-16T14:44:58.608-06:00Summer LovingAinsley woke up this morning, and promptly asked to put on her swimsuit and go to the sprinklers.<br /><br />The high today is 33 degrees.<br /><br />Gotta love a kid who wakes up each morning expecting it to be warm and sunny.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713275286984856531.post-89802131805313567902008-12-03T08:58:00.004-06:002008-12-16T14:45:34.673-06:00Ice CreamAinsley's bedtime ritual involves one book, one song, and singing the alphabet. She gets to choose the book and the song. <br /><br />She has a running list of what Mommy can sing and what Daddy can sing (and, at least with me, likes to remind me that I don't know the words to the Daddy songs). <br /><br />"Can we sing 'Upside Down'? Mommy doesn't know the words to 'Upside Down.'"<br /><br />Mommy's typical song list consists of "You've Got a Friend" (by James Taylor), "Ice Cream" (by Sarah McLachlan), and "Dream a Little Dream" (by Mama Cass). Ainsley knows all the words to each of these songs, and will sing along. I've been singing each of these to her since the day we brought her home from the hospital, and she always gets such a kick out of hearing them on the radio.<br /><br />The other night during the bedtime song, Ainsley managed to create her first joke. We were singing "Ice Cream" and she started to add in her own lyrics. I have no earthly idea where she came up with them, especially since she hasn't been to the Farmer's Market in weeks now...<br /><br />Ice Cream<br />by Sarah McLachlan and Ainsley Hanes<br /><br />Your love is better than ice cream [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />better than anything else that I've tried [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />and your love is better than ice cream [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />everyone here know how to fight [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br /><br />and it's a long way down[<span style="font-style:italic;">to the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />it's a long way down [<span style="font-style:italic;">to the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />it's a long way down to the place<br />where we started from<br /><br />Your love is better than chocolate [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />better than anything else that I've tried [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />oh love is better than chocolate [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />everyone here knows how to cry [<span style="font-style:italic;">at the Farmer's Market</span>]<br /><br />it's a long way down [<span style="font-style:italic;">to the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />it's a long way down [<span style="font-style:italic;">to the Farmer's Market</span>]<br />it's a long way down to the place<br />where we started from...<br /><br />Needless to say, much hilarity ensued, and we giggled all the way through the alphabet. Such a thrill to see her sense of humor developing.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553576332320270146noreply@blogger.com0