X-Girls

(the other day, while walking through the grocery store)

Ainsley: Let's play X-Men. Amelia, you can be Rogue, and I'll be Storm. Mommy, you can be the bad girl. What's her name?

Me: Mystique?

Ainsley: Yeah, Ms. Peek.

Me: OK.

Ainsley: Ok, Rogue, you touch Ms. Peek and take her power!

(Amelia pokes me in the stomach)

Me: Oh, no! You've taken my power! I'm weak!

Amelia: SAUCE!

Heh-heh. Weak Sauce. She never fails to deliver that joke, and it never fails to reduce me to giggles.

Creative Writing for Preschoolers

Literally.

Ainsley's preschool class has this great year-long project. Every few weeks, parent volunteers come into the classroom first thing in the morning, and the kids dictate stories to the parents. They are given complete control over their stories - they can tell a story about anything.

The parents write the stories, then other volunteers type them up. At the end of the year, Ainsley will come home with an entire binder of her creative writing. According to her teacher, the first few will be short, but as the year progresses, the kids will tell longer and more involved stories.

What follows is Ainsley's first entry:

My story is about loving my sister. Her name is Amelia, and I like to hug and kiss her. She wears a pink tank top. She is really cute. She also plays with me. We play tag together. Amelia always wins. And sometimes I win, and sometimes she wins.

So yeah. That's awesome.

Titmanistan

Reason number 3,458,972 why my husband is awesome:

Me: Whirly Word is dumb. No way "titmen" is a word...

Jason: Sure it is. The 'Titmen' were a group of fierce warriors who took on Alexander the Great on their home soil of Titmanistan. They were so named for their homeland, and their predilection for boobs. Two things Titmen care about: country and boobs. Hence the reason they fought Alexander so fiercly, halting the expansion of his empire. Being an ardent homosexual, he was bound to oppose a great tyranny on their boob-loving ways. All hail the Titmen! True Story

Big Star

Amelia: Daddy, what are you doing?

Daddy: Just sitting on the couch, being awesome.

Amelia: Can I be awesome with you?

You are already there, big girl.

That's Amore

After a nice Friday family lunch at Wendy's...

Daddy: Do you girls want that leftover lasagna for dinner tonight?

Ainsley: Yeah!

Amelia: Yeah!

(Ainsley suddenly gets up and runs across the restaurant)

Daddy: Ainsley! What are you doing?

Ainsley: (in her most DUH! exasperated voice) Daaaaa-deeeee. I'm doing the basangne dance!