I Want to Hold Your Hand

15 years and one night ago, I went to the Mascoutah Homecoming Bonfire in Scheve Park with a boy from my Senior Rec class. We parked across the park from the festivities, and walked over in the dark. The first good sign of the evening? When we got to the ditch that needed to be crossed, he jumped over and then reached back for my hand.

An eternal 15 years ago, I was nervously getting ready for my first date with a boy from my Senior Rec class. I didn't know much about him, except that he was pretty easy on the eyes, and was horribly witty. I'm not sure what impressed me more - his skill at Euchre, or his schtick about the Smurfs. Either way, my 17 year old self was seriously smitten.

We shared a disastrous double-date with Nicole and Mike. Dinner at the now-closed Paste House. I remember thinking it odd that we were at this place with great food, and Nicole only ate salad. Crazy! I don't remember what we talked about over dinner, but I remember the conversation came pretty easy.

Nicole managed to ditch Mike once we got to the dance. This meant every 20 minutes, Mike was nearby asking where she was. Had we seen her?

Years from now, I will be reluctant to tell the girls that the song playing when we first kissed? "Freak Me" by Silk. Oh-so-very 1993. While the song would be unique to us, I wonder how many other loves had their first kiss, dancing slow, on the wood floor of a high school gymnasium? A cliche beginning, to be sure. I will be heartbroken when they tear that old gym down to make room for the new school building.

A brief 4 years ago, I was nervously getting ready to get married to a boy from my Senior Rec class. It was a beautiful, warm October day. Supported by our family, and our outstanding network of friends, we said the things you say on that sort of day.

Getting married changed us subtly. While we have been completely committed to one another since that first dance 15 years ago, the wedding 4 years ago signaled a point of no return. In these modern times of quickie-weddings, and quickie-divorces, I am fascinated that both of us look at marriage as being absolute. Absolutely forever. We are in this crazy life together. And I count us lucky that when the going gets tough? We hunker down against the tough. Its us against the world. We will not be shaken. We will be what outlasts anything that comes our way. We.

473,364,000 seconds.
7,889,400 minutes.
5,479 days.
683 weeks.
15 years.
1/2 my lifetime.

I absolutely adore Jason's graying hair. Its a physical reminder of the amount of water under our bridge. After all of this time together, he still does it for me. There's no one on Earth I'd rather live with, love with, laugh with, parent with than him. I have never once regretted finding him so young. Committing so young.

Happy Anniversary, my love. We still have a long road ahead. Now, let's go hold hands for a while. For old time's sake.