Thursday, May 8, 2008

Having My Baby

My Sweet Amelia,

Yes, I did a better job of chronicling my pregnancy with your sister. I will probably apologize for that a few more times during your life, but this is the first. I'm sorry I didn't write much of anything while I was pregnant with you.

It really started as a precaution - I had a miscarriage a few months before I became pregnant with you, and was intensely worried that the same would happen again. So I put off writing those first few months, just to be sure. And then, the laziness took over. I have no other excuse.

The first half of your life on the inside was pretty uneventful. Except for Daddy and myself being worried like crazy that we would lose you, it was pretty easy. The morning sickness was a bit worse with you than it was with your sister, but still not bad.

I felt you moving in there pretty darn early. So early, in fact, that Captain Gyno told me that it must be something else - there was no way I was feeling YOU. But, in my opinion, once you feel a baby do a backflip in your abdomen, you don't mistake that feeling for anything else. You were fairly active, mostly with kicks and punches. You got yourself head-down and stayed there for a while - you did not somersault as much as Ainsley did.

While with your sister all I wanted was spicy food, I couldn't stomach it with you. No Mexican, Indian, etc. You seemed to want sweets. Or, at least, that's all I seemed to want. Sweets and garlic. For a while it seemed like I was eating garlicky Italian food every other day.

Oddly enough, I gained the exact same amount of weight with both of you. More evidence, in my mind, that you are going to gain what you gain - and there's not much you can do about it either way.

This time around it was harder in general to be pregnant. Not only was I huge and exhausted, I was still trying to chase a toddler around the house when I wasn't working. And Ainsley can wear out a healthy, non-pregnant adult in no time.

Since we had your sister already, Daddy and I both spent time wondering how alike you would be - and how different. Would you have the same curls? The same striking blue eyes? Would you be a heavy sleeper? I was worried about neglecting your sister once you arrived. I was worried how she would react to you. I was worried about finding the extra love - your sister filled my heart in such a way, I was not sure I had room for more love. How can anyone stand that much love?

We were late into the pregnancy when the trouble started. Certainly not trouble caused by you - you were in there minding your own business. The trouble started and ended with a grumpy ultrasound technician.

We were at the doctor's office for a 34-week ultrasound. Daddy and Ainsley were there. Ainsley enjoyed seeing you on the monitor, but always got upset when the tech was pushing that ultrasound thing around on my belly. The tech at the Captain's new office was always in a bad mood. Always in a hurry. And always always annoyed by Ainsley. This visit was no different.

So our grumpy, annoyed, and hurried technician was doing some measurements on you. Everything - and I mean everything - was measured at just the right size. Until she got to your femur. And at your femur, she measured it small. Once she got the short measurement, she did not bother to measure anything else.

After the ultrasound, Daddy took Ainsley out (she doesn't wait well in doctor's waiting rooms), and I waited to see the Captain. Once in his office, he mentioned the short femur. He was very relaxed - and even commented on the accuracy (or lack thereof) of this particular tech. However, since she made notes on your test results, he felt we should follow up. And by follow up, I mean run some further tests looking for Down Syndrome.

And while your Mommy held it together in the office, once she got out into the hall to call Daddy she totally lost it.

At this point in the process, we had had 3 tests that check for markers for DS (all passed with no problem), and at least 4 ultrasounds where your measurements were fine. The Captain scheduled us for an additional ultrasound at another hospital, just to check. Unfortunately, this particular office was busy, and we had to wait for 2 weeks to get in there.

After an agonizing two weeks, we got to see the specialist. She checked everything else on you - arm length, fingers, toes, nose, everything. Everything, in my mind, our original tech should have checked once she saw your legs were a little short. And everything was perfect.

So here we are - only 2 weeks to go, and we had confirmation of your perfection. Things were definitely looking up.

Until we hit that 38 week mark. And Mommy's blood pressure went up. It wasn't too awful - but it was certainly high for me. You were still doing just fine. But Mommy had to cut back to half days at work, and spend a lot of time with her feet elevated. Ainsley and I read a lot of books that last week before you go here.

We were scheduled for our c-section on March 17th, which put you at 39 weeks (or, at least, that's what we thought. But more on that later).

So there, Sweets, is the abbreviated version of what it was like to be pregnant with you.

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